Writing Jokes and Riddles, by Bill Howard

When is a joke a joke? When is a riddle a riddle? What’s the difference between the two?

Who the heck is Bill Howard?

Read on, and I’ll try and say something about these things.

Just one look at the cover and something’s immediately apparent; it’s a book for children. My memory says the shop I bought from didn’t include a book photo, due to its age and obscurity.

So with little to go on, apart from a short page count and the book’s title, it was an innocent purchase for a guide to help me craft jokes and riddles.

To cut to the chase, it got delivered. But does it deliver?

Book in hand, the back cover says you’ll find out about the different types and categories of jokes and riddles, and their secrets. You’ll even be able to develop your very own side splitters. Repeat them enough, and your young friends will turn to violence.

On the inside… of the book, the page before the contents promises you could finish up writing jokes for comedians on radio and T.V.

It says finish up, not wash up, but that would be lost on kiddies’ teeny weenie little brains.

Capital letters say DON’T LEND THIS BOOK TO ANYBODY, because it won’t come back. Which reminds me of when I take books to the charity shop. They don’t come back either.

For the promise of showing you how to make jokes, the book sort of delivers. Like the courier who leaves your package in the dustbin.

Although that’s a bit unfair. Some couriers leave the package on top of the bin, or by its side.

Back to the book, and it leaves you to learn through examples. There’s no attempt to offer you any guidance, or help, if you run into problems.

But you might not want any. Past a certain age, you can figure it out yourself. I mean, once you’re potty trained, you don’t really want assistance. Cheerleading isn’t always appropriate. “You can pee, you can pee, you can pee.”

“Actually… I can’t with you around.”

Back to the book again.

Each of the 12 chapters — apart from 11 and 12 — open with a short description of what it’s about. Then each one proceeds to ask and answer questions to form jokes.

Or are they riddles?

The difference between the two isn’t explained. For children, it’s a non issue, which saves this book (as does its colourful cover. Look at it from time to time. You’ll be delighted). As you get older, you’ll find jokes are supposed to make you laugh, while riddles offer a challenge, that solved, might make you laugh or groan, but that’s secondary.

This book targets that overlap between riddles and jokes.

You’ll read through and find most of the jokes/riddles quite cheesy, while a few might make you laugh. And if you like dad jokes, then you may get even more mileage from this little book.

For others, well, this book will leave you groaning more than great sex.

As for what you can learn from that? Pick a better partner. In my case, it was to never buy a book with a fake cover from one of the large online shops.

In saying that, there is something here, and I wouldn’t want to miss out.

Read through this book’s contents, and you’ll find each variation of double meaning. Think about them for a while, maybe even copy the jokes, then as the book advises its childish audience of children, try writing some of your own.

You’ll get better at this type of comedy.

For those who say it’s old fashioned, it’s worth noting that comedy always works with at least two separate ideas. This will give you a basic idea of how it’s done with words.

While the book doesn’t go on to other types of jokes, or why one joke is cheesy and another one isn’t, you can learn a lot by playing with words.

Which this book might encourage. If it does, you’ll become more adept at turns of phrase, and have the building blocks to move on to more advanced wordplay.

If you fail, well, there’s always something to fall back on. A bit like a cliff top jump where a strong wind keeps forcing you to take multiple stops.

Anyway, you can always turn your failed jokes into riddles, thereby freeing you from the embarrassment of not getting any laughs when you perform.

Tell the audience you aren’t a comedian, but instead, you’re a riddledian. On that announcement, a wave of shock and awe will spread across the venue, and you’ll receive rapturous applause.

After that standing ovation, you’ll go on to have a sensational career and headline massive events. All the time, remaining incredibly unemployed.

Bill Howard…he’s the biggest riddle from this book. Who is he? Apart from another book he’s written, Jokes & Riddles from A to Z, he doesn’t exist. Unless he’s the King of the Cops guy, which is possible.

So… back to the book once more.

Thankfully, some chapters introduce themselves by saying they’re about riddles, before bombarding you with examples (a few examples). That’s good, because if you did try and launch a career with some of these, it wouldn’t last long.

Like a fireworks display arranged by children.

But if you want to form a social character others back away from, feel free to load up with riddles like these, and tell people they’re your jokes. While you recite them, their forced smiles will show you they’re having a ball.

While they’re kicking yours.

As you read through the book, you might acknowledge there’s actually the basis of comedy teachings today.

When Jerry Corley talks about multiple meanings, well kids, it’s here first! Word definitions with Sally Holloway from her Serious Guide to Joke Writing? It’s all here, even more simply! Sure, you won’t find in depth approaches to putting things together, but this gives you the basic idea.

And talking of names, you might even think of Jimmy Carr, when you see the joke at the top of page 27. A customer chats to a butcher about expensive meat being deer. At which point you’ll know it’s all about venison.

Maybe after you read this you’ll want some new blinds. And after you’ve finished that sentence, you’ll want to shut me out.

If you manage to slog through this gigantic book, there’s no denying that Howard has taken you on a fantastical journey through a magical universe to fulfill childhood dreams of becoming a brilliant riddledian!

You’ve found out about words with different meanings, similar sounding words, place name jokes, knock knock gags, and a few more.

Chapter 11 even covers gag-writing! A one page tour de force that tells you absolutely nothing.

Past that point, chapter 12, the final chapter, consists of a list of 100+ words you can use for double meanings.

And that’s that.

Verdict

If you want a cheap book that shows words used in multiple ways, this delivers. And if you go along with it and write some of your own, you’ll be able to craft a good joke here and there (in amongst many, many dad jokes).

Recommended for:

Seeing how many uses you can get from any word.

For any child who wants to be the next Tim Vine.

For annoying your peers.

Not for:

Writing jokes that don’t involve word play.

Other thoughts

You could actually make a version of this book for grown ups, by expanding on the foundation this provides. Add in different types of jokes and a little more elaboration, and you’ve got an instant, best sel….

No, forget that.

Length

Ultra short.

A small book in terms of dimensions, with 95 pages. Take away 50 for cartoon illustrations, blank pages and chapter pages, while the remaining 40+ are mainly half pages due to line spaced between jokes.

Quicker readers will take an hour if they’re having a bad day. A really bad day. In that hour, they’ll be able to immerse the book in water, dry it out, and still have time left over to read it and have breakfast.

Even slower readers don’t have to be too dedicated to be through the book in a couple of hours.

Then again, it is only a kids’ book.

Bonus

With the words from the back of the book, here’s 5 ideas this reviewer came up with.

Rob: Tim flew up 20 feet as he looked at that car’s engine.

Bill: Yeah, he mentioned something about needing a jumper.

Mobile wedding service. They even do wedding rings.

Mike: Love, I’ve got an animal eating from my hand.

Sue: I told you not to feed them at the table.

Mike: I was calling you, dear.

Tony: The scrap man’s outside to see Andrew.

Sophie: He’s in pain. What does the scrap man want him?

Tony: Andrew mentioned he had big piles.

Did you hear about the man who never washes, has a really smelly house, and collects the zips from old trousers? Apparently he has a fly problem.